:: Gentleness Fruit ::

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control..." - Galatians 5:22-23

Over the past eight months or so, we have been walking through the fruits of the Spirit as a family. We have covered LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS and have recently tackled GENTLENESS.

The thing is, we can't just learn about one and be done with it. These 'fruits' are something we have to practice living out every day. When we begin to move on to a new fruit, we walk through each of them all over again. Our conversation during the day often times comes back to these fruits of the Spirit - in our play, in our discipline, in our adventures, even when we are being silly. Walking through the fruits of the Spirit is such a great tool to remind both kiddos, and myself, that it is because of God's Spirit within us that these 'fruits' are used to the fullest.

Gentleness wasn't a hard concept for my kids to grasp - but putting it into consistent action has been the tricky part. I would think that most parents with toddlers, like me, hear themselves saying "BE GENTLE!" quite often.

When we were writing down our ideas about how to show gentleness to others, Jameson came up with the most simplistic yet applicable definition: "being soft when you want to be hard". Analise added the "in EVERYTHING" to the list.

Here is what they came up with:

I continue to marvel at how readily my kids understand these concepts and I am encouraged to see them putting them into action. When I was trying to take pictures of them with their fruit, Jameson was in a rather cantankerous mood and the following conversation took place:

A: "Jameson, come take a picture with me. Let's be gentle together."
J: "I don't want to take a picture!"
A: "Awww Jame..you need to choose a happy heart. Look at the camera and be loving and kind!"
J: "NO! I don't want to! I want to play baseball!" as he runs off.

I love the look of genuine gentleness that Analise has for her brother. (Please note: It isn't all hugs and kisses around here. These two have their fair amount of non-gentle moments!)

I love watching both of them with younger kids. They love to love on people. They are kind. They are caring, and they are gentle. While Analise tends to err on the gentle side more often, Jameson gets it too. Sometimes all it takes is a little reminder or a question like, "do you remember what it means to have gentleness?"

And they get it.

I can see the wheels turning and their actions changing, and sometimes they will even say it out loud, "It means being soft when you want to be hard!" Yes. Yes it does.

Next up: SELF CONTROL

:: Faithfulness Fruit ::

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control..." - Galatians 5:22-23

If you read this blog at all you most likely know that we have been walking through the fruits of the Spirit. So far we have covered LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS and now we are adding FAITHFULNESS to the mix.

I found defining faithfulness to my kids to be a bit tricky. Most of the time I try to talk to the kids about these things in the 'every day' while we are playing or on walks. If I try to have a proper 'sit down/learning' time with these types of life lessons, they don't want to have much to do with it.

After weeks of talking it through here and there and trying to word things in ways that I thought would make sense to them regarding faithfulness, I didn't seem to be getting anywhere. We talked about all of the things that faithfulness can mean and what it means to us. However this morning while on a walk, Analise reminded me of the most simple, poignant definition - the first thing I said when we began to tackle the idea of faithfulness. It was also the reminder that I needed to hear today.

I had just finished briefly reminding Analise and Jameson about the Holy Spirit and how through Him we are able to have faithfulness:

Me: "So Analise, can you tell me what faithfulness means?"
A: "Mooooooom, you make things so long and hard."
Me: "Um, that's not my intention, I am trying to help you understand."
A: "I do understand. You use too many words to say that God always keeps his promises. You said it a long time ago. That is what faithfulness means - that God always keeps his promises."
Me: "Uh...um...yeah, you're right."
Jameson: "Mommy, Lisi's RIGHT!"
Me: "Thanks Jameson."

Awesome. I just got schooled by my kids (in a good way of course). The concepts and lessons we can learn about from the fruit of the Spirit are not complicated. They don't need to be long and drawn out. That's not how God intended life with Him to be. It's simple really - if we have the Spirit within us then we have the ability to produce the fruit of the Spirit. The important thing is yielding to the Holy Spirit and allowing Him to work through us, not to rely on our own abilities.

Here is the list of things that Analise came up with to write on the back of her fruit:

I have been having a tough time lately, mainly in the area of parenting. Feelings of inadequacy, failure, feeling at a complete loss of how to parent these kids in the best way possible. Hearing from my kids more of what I am doing wrong as opposed to what I am doing right, etc. As I talked with Analise and Jameson about faithfulness today, I was reminded that even when times seem hard and I'm not so sure about things, the most important thing is to remain faithful, because God is faithful in all things. I am not supposed to do this parenting thing on my own! Phew!

And while it isn't all sunshine and roses here every day, today was a great day for remembering God's faithfulness. After our walk, while in Costco we saw a picture of a rainbow (with a pot of gold at the end) commemorating St. Patrick's Day. Analise loudly exclaimed, "Mom! Look! A rainbow! That is God's promise to never flood the earth again. God always keeps His promises because He is faithful!"

Yes. Yes He is.

Next up: GENTLENESS

:: Kindness and Goodness Fruit ::

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control..." - Galatians 5:22-23

We started talking about the fruits of the Spirit in the summer. I had every intention of tackling one per week, but alas...here it is December and we have yet to finish going through them all. Thankfully, there is no timeline on learning and we have had some great experiences walking through these character traits -- character traits we will be working for a lifetime. We have talked about LOVE, JOY, PEACE, and PATIENCE which leads us to KINDNESS and GOODNESS.

We decided to combine kindness and goodness as they seem to go hand in hand. These two are common words in our house. If you spend any time with me and my children, one thing you will most likely hear is me asking my children (over and over and over again) to be kind. Kindness is so important to me. So important in fact, that the day I found out that Analise was going to be a girl, one of the first things I prayed was that she would be a great friend to others and that she would be a kind girl -- and she is. When we sat down to write on the back of our 'fruit', this is what she came up with.

While the things listed above don't happen every day, both Analise and Jameson are good at reminding one another to be kind. Just the other day I heard the following conversation ...um...arguement:

J: "Be kind Lisi! You not being kind to me Lisi!"
A: "No Jameson, you aren't giving me what I want and you are supposed be kind because I am your sister and you love me." - (as she proceeds to rip the car he is holding out of his hands)
J: (a loud growling scream)
A: "Thanks for the car Jameson. It was kind of you to give it to me."
J: "NO LISI! I did NOT give it to you." (whining) "You give it to me NOW!!"
A: "Be kind Jameson. Let me have it."
J: (shaking finger and pointing with great fervor) "No Lisi. You no take car from me! You need to be KIND!" (as he proceeds to rip car from her hands...and mother enters to mediate)

So, while they may not get it quite right all of the time, it is clear that they understand the meaning of the words. This has been very evident, not only watching them interact with one another and their friends, but how they perceive what is around them. We were coming out of the grocery store the other day, saw a Salvation Army gal ringing her bell, and the following took place:

J: "What that girl doing?
A: "She is ringing a bell."
J: "Why?"
Me: "Well...they are collecting money for those who have less than..."
A: (before I could finish) "Jameson. It is to help people and helping people is good because it helps them. Remember what we wrote on our fruit Jameson? It is good to love other people and to give to them too. Mom, can we ask her if she wants to give that money to us? That would be good!"
Me: "Um...that's not quite how it works..."

All of this to say, though there are many times I shake my head and chuckle with unbelief, it warms my heart when I see them 'getting it' and putting it into practice. We do have to reset, review, and remember what these fruits really mean, but that is all part of the learning process right? So far, I have two very kind and good little people in my life and I am learning from them all the time!

Next up: FAITHFULNESS

:: Patience Fruit ::

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control..." - Galatians 5:22-23

Time has gone quickly since we started learning and talking about the Fruit of the Spirit. A few months back we began this process in this post by talking about LOVE . After LOVE, we tackled JOY. From JOY we moved onto PEACE, which brings us to the next fruit - PATIENCE.

Patience is a hard thing to put into practice. Let's face it, I am almost in my mid 30's and I am still learning about patience. It seems that as *soon* as we started talking about what patience is and how we can put it into practice, any patience that any of us had in this house...went flying out the door!

You can tell by these pictures, that Analise clearly did not have the patience for posing.

The reason I post these pictures, instead of the cute smiley ones is because this was the reality of what we were walking through at the time. Learning about and teaching patience felt just like she looks in these pictures - like it was a chore, a frustration, and an inconvenience.

We actually wound up spending a few weeks learning about patience. And while I know we will be learning patience as long as we are on this earth, the few weeks we intentionally spent on patience were some of the most challenging ones we had had in quite some time. Like the flip of a switch, as soon as I started talking about what patience was, Analise and Jameson both started interrupting me relentlessly. Markus and I were losing patience with one another and the kids more than usual. I couldn't get things done fast enough...Everyone needed something NOW. I felt like a broken record:

"Please be patient"
"Are you being patient?"
"Is this what it looks like to be patient?"
"Remember what it means to be patient?"

I wondered what the heck I was doing...why I bothered trying to teach these types of things if they didn't work, etc. But we stuck with it.

After talking about it for quite some time, we wrote down some things about what we think about patience. Here is what we came up with:

I explained why it is important to be patient with one another and how God is ever so patient with us. It wasn't until I heard the following conversation between Analise and Jameson that I realized that it was working - to some degree.

A: "Jameson! I am playing with the tractor. You can't have it."
J: "NO! Yay-Yay (that is what he calls Analise)! I need it!"
A: "Jameson, You don't need anything. God gives you what you need. You have to be patient."
J: "NO Yay-Yay! I need it!"
A: "Jameson, you need to remember what being patient means. Do you know what it means?"
J: "NO Yay-Yay! I NEED IT!"
A: "Jameson. Being patient means waiting with a happy heart. Is your heart happy?"
J: "No Yay-Yay! NOT happy."
A: "Well, you need to have a happy heart while you wait. My heart is happy, so I am being patient with you and not giving you this tractor until you are patient."
J: "Yay-Yay. I need it! I happy now!"

As I said before, we will be working on this one for a lifetime. I am thankful that I have these two little people who stretch me, teach me, and are patient with me. And most importantly, I am so thankful that we have a God who is patient with us...even when we don't choose to wait with happy hearts!

Next up: KINDNESS AND GOODNESS

:: Peace Fruit ::

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control..." - Galatians 5:22-23

We have been working on learning about the fruit of the Spirit in our house lately. Some days are better than others just as some 'fruits' are easier to talk about than others. When we talked about love in this post, it came quite naturally. When we talked about joy here, it was easy and fun. The past week and a bit we had been talking and learning about PEACE and it was a bit of a challenge.

It was 'one of those weeks'. Not only did my house feel like chaos much of the time, but my mind and my heart felt chaotic too. It was a particularly tough week -- navigating the waters of disobedience and defiance with proper and effective discipline. I wanted peace and quiet! The mom I wanted to be, and the mom I was last week were two different people. Needless to say, I don't think it was any mistake that God had us (all of us) learning peace last week.
I have said it before, but I am humbled and amazed by how Analise 'gets' the idea of these concepts:

Me: "Analise, do you know what peace is?"
A: "Peace comes from loving. Loving makes joy and joy makes peace."
Me: "Um...where did you hear that?"
A: "In my heart. And in my head. Yeah, my head told me that."
Me: "Well, I think you are right. Peace does come when we are loving and when we have joy, and both of those things can bring peace to us. How else can we have peace?"
A: "When we are quiet...and when Jameson is not talking."
Me: "(laughing) Yep. Peace can come when we are quiet, but it is more than just being quiet with our voices."
A: "Yeah, like when everyone is happy and getting along. What else?
Me: "Well, what other ways do you think we can have peace?"
A: :"Um...when...when we say sorry when it's hard to say sorry?" The significance of that statement stopped me in my tracks and I was brought back to it so many times last week. Apologizing when it is hard to do...that can and does bring peace. Peace of mind and peace of heart. Is she really only 3 1/2?

When we began to write on the back of our 'peace fruit' one thing she wanted me to write was that peace was 'knowing that everything was going to be good'. Before I wrote it down, I wanted to talk to her about what that really meant first. This is a hard concept to explain to a three year old.

We were able to put it into practice this weekend when she found me crying after a phone call I received. We got news this weekend that someone very close to me, a mother figure in my life, has been diagnosed with very advanced cancer. Ugh. Explaining cancer to a three year old is tough, but the simplicity of her understanding is precious and so amazing. I tried to explain that while certain things in life may not be good, like cancer, God is always good. And knowing that God is always good brings peace. She nodded, crawled into my lap and said, "Mom, let's just sit and be quiet so we can have peace about all of this."

This is what we wrote on the back of our 'peace fruit':So now, when I think of peace, I think of more than just 'peace and quiet'. I think of how God is molding this little girl, and all that she learning, and all that I am learning through her in this process. I think of the character of God and I am thankful that when we take the time to know Him more, we can be more like Him.

Next up: PATIENCE

:: Joy Fruit ::

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control..." - Galatians 5:22-23

As I mentioned in this post, we have been talking about the fruits of the Spirit in our house. A few weeks ago, we talked about LOVE and last week we talked about JOY.

It was a fun 'fruit' to talk about. At first I wasn't quite sure how to get her to understand joy, but she pretty much defined it spot on -- for a three year old that is.

When I asked her if she knew what joy was the following conversation took place:

Me: "Analise, do you know what joy is?"
A: "Yeah. Joy is my middle name."
Me: "Well, you are right! Do you know why your middle name is Joy?"
A: "Because you love me and I make you and Daddy happy."
Me: "Yes. That is part of it. So, if someone were to ask you what joy was, what would you tell them?
A: "Um...it's when I'm really happy?"
Me: "Sort of. True joy is more than that..."
A: "Oh, like the HAPPIEST HAPPY!"
Me: "Yes, the happiest happy you can be...deep down in your heart. When you feel like your heart is overflowing with the happiest happy."
A: "Like when I have my friends over to play with me I am the happiest happy. And when my friends invite me over I am the happiest happy. So that means me and my friends have joy."

Throughout the week we talked about ways that we give and receive joy and we wrote them on the back of her 'joy fruit'. The list looks like this:

As the days went on, she kept coming up with ways that she can give joy to others. Some of my favorite ideas that she came up with included volunteering Markus to build houses for the kids in Haiti...

Having her room spic and span before her dad gets home...

Helping me do the laundry...

Having her friends over so we can babysit for their mothers. (She really did say that)...

And her best, heart-melting answer to something that always gives her joy: "Being a Lettner!"

Next up: PEACE

:: Love Fruit ::

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control..." - Galatians 5:22-23

We have been doing a series on the fruit of the Spirit at our church. I try to be intentional about the things that I teach my kids, so I decided to work on helping them learn these fruits of the Spirit in a real and tangible way at home.

A few weeks ago, we started with the first fruit - LOVE.

We spent the whole week talking about what love really means, what it means to be loved and how we can show love to others - those we know and those we don't know. It has been such a neat experience to walk through this with Analise and to see her putting it into action. I am constantly amazed and humbled by how easily children 'get it'.

One day, without my prompting, she wanted to talk about what love really meant. She said, "Love is giving something really special away. Is there another word for that?" to which I replied, "Sacrifice." "Yeah, sacrifice. I want to sacrifice something favorite so I can show love." She spent the next 20 minutes in her room, going through her things and excitedly decided that to show love she was going to "sacrifice her super bear for Maddy to have for her birthday". I asked her if she really wanted to give her very special super bear away and she emphatically replied, "YES! Let's go wrap it!" Followed by, "Mom, take a picture of my loving!"

As we talked about love throughout the week she came up with a summary of what love means and how we show love. We made our first 'fruit' and wrote the list on the back. The list looks something like this:

Since this list was made she continues to come up with ways to show and give love to people - drawing pictures, giving flowers, wanting to offer her bed to the kids in Haiti, praying for friends. It is so special to see her growing and learning some of the most important things in life. And Jameson is learning too. He will walk up to me, hand me something and say, "yuv, yuv, yuv".

Next up: JOY